


Grandiose

by Rose_of_Pollux



Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-06
Updated: 2020-01-06
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22151464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_of_Pollux/pseuds/Rose_of_Pollux
Summary: In which Illya finds the reason for a ticker-tape parade inane--and Napoleon agrees.
Relationships: Illya Kuryakin & Napoleon Solo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	Grandiose

Napoleon hadn’t really expected Illya to be impressed with the ticker tape parade that the city was throwing for some visiting dignitaries. Still, the level of Illya’s exasperation at the spectacle was something he had underestimated.

They were watching from the top floor of a building, stationed as security along the parade route as the confetti and ticker tape of all colors—red, white, blue, green, and yellow—rained down on the streets and the procession. And Napoleon could see, out of the corner of his eye, Illya rolling his eyes every few minutes as a fresh wave of confetti fell from above.

“I sense you have opinions about this parade.”

“ _Da_ , I do. I think it is pointless. These dignitaries are being lauded for doing their jobs—what’s the phrase you Americans use? ‘Playing nice?’ Talking to each other like human beings should do, and they get a parade for that—a parade where the money used for it could have gone to those who needed it for food or medicine. Or, at the very least, someone who deserves a parade—people who put their lives at risk to maintain peace while these men bicker amongst themselves while putting their own best interests first and foremost!”

“…Well, when you put it that way, it does seem rather excessive to be doing this for them,” Napoleon mused.

“Indeed, it is. We do so much more and take more risks to maintain peace. And do we get parades in our honor?”

“…Are you asking for one?”

“ _Bozhe moi! Nyet_!”

“I didn’t think so,” Napoleon mused.

“What I meant was that it is… pathetic, for lack of a better term, to reward these men with a parade for doing what they are supposed to do anyway! I understand peoples’ desire to celebrate, but these men do not deserve pats on the back for acting like civil human beings when that was what they were brought together for!”

“You’re absolutely right,” Napoleon agreed.

“…I am?”

“Yeah; it _is_ pathetic that we have to inflate their egos just to keep them going in the right direction,” Napoleon agreed. “But, you know what? If it really can help in keep them playing nice and preventing more hostility, then maybe, just maybe, it’s worth it in the end.”

Illya paused and considered this for a moment, before nodding.

“You make a valid point,” he admitted.

“As do you,” Napoleon returned. “Maybe someday, it won’t have to come to this.”

“That day cannot come soon enough,” Illya sighed.

Napoleon nodded in agreement, and the two of them fell silent again, continuing to keep watch on the parade below until the procession fully passed by.


End file.
